my friend,
today i spoke too much
whatever was hovering above my head
could not enter
i was too busy
keeping the door shut

why did you not tell me
i was being a madman??
did you not notice
or did you think i was not ready to hear it

i ask
but i know the answer

you were simply a madman too, today
everyone i met today -- mad
sleeping souls, reacting
nobody whom i looked
in the eyes
looked back in a way
that awakened me

we live in a big soothing lullaby
and use the mind as a womb
a safe predictable space
in which to retreat

don't you understand?
many words came out of this mouth
but i did not really speak

you thought you saw me
but i was hovering
three feet behind myself
always too late to arrive
too sleepy to be real

it is evening now
i stand at the cashier
with a basket
full of things i do not want
but it is evening -- the store is closing
and i must pay
for hollow cans & empty boxes

April 2021