​​sometimes I love people
my heart all smiling: I belong

but sometimes that collapses
and in the blink of an eye
I'm drowning on the bottom of a swamp

every unconscious word of my friends
a dagger to the soul
I forget that I love them
walls of terror suddenly rise
sky-high and rock-hard
everybody: stay out!

overstimulated by the social chaos
the primordial evil of loose lips
when silence is exiled, so is my soul
my chest turns into a black void
into which I fall
my body is still in the room
but my spirit has fled
into the invisible depths
if I'm sitting, I become the couch
a terrified piece of furniture

all I am then:
a pair of glazed-over eyes
and the desire to escape
this world and all its unbearable people

I am a stranger
I am gone


​
(January 2021)